so have you ever just sat around and wondered how things could be different? or what life would be like if you changed one small thing? or wondered what you would do if ever faced by some strange, unexpected event? i know that i think about these things all the time. I am constantly wasting away my day, dreaming about the future; and it isn’t always all good things either.
some examples:
what would happen if steve laprade wasn’t a creepy little fuck? would he get all the girls? would anyone still want to hit him in the face every time he opened his mouth? would he still continue to claim that he has a huge cock. im pretty sure the answer to all of those questions is no... but it would never happen, steve laprade will always be a creepy little fuck. (a serious question, will steve ever get laid, or will his only sex be with his hand, and the girl he rapes one night in a dark alley?)
what will happen if my room mate next year is the kind of girl who is in bed by 9, and insists that everything be spic and span, and proper? im worried that i will get stuck with a room mate who thinks that sex is wrong, and wont let me have any, and who wont want to be friends, and will only focus on her work, all the time. What happens if i cant have sex my freshmen year becuase my room mate pretends to not understand what a scarf on the door nob means? what if she is total bitch and freaks out on me because of every little thing? but then again, what if we become really good friends, or better yet, what if i get the single room i applied for?
what happens if i meet my prince charming this summer and we fall hopeless in love, and i have the best summer ever? i mean, its not like im not planning to have a great summer, but just think how much better a romance would be. i think it would make the summer perfect. the first summer before i run away to university, and i find what feels soul mate, it could be epic? also, is it true that sex is way better when it is with someone you are in love with, or is that just something that parents say to make kids not have sex and save them from getting herpes? i like to think that it is better when you are in love, but torchwood tells me otherwise. torchwood tells me that sex is best when you nearly strangers, and you just have a raw attraction. i dont know, they made it sound very convincing.
what would it be like if people could read your thoughts? could you even imagine how many people would be mad at you for thinking something about them. you can filter your words, but you cant filter your thoughts. like a girl walks by in a ridiculously short skirt, and you cant help but think "ughh, what a whore. didnt her mother teach her morals?" and bam! she hates you now. and really, do you blame her? i would hate someone who said that about me, and what makes thinking any different? and i for one, will admit, that my thoughts are ALWAYS hugely hypocritical. i feel as though i am not the only one who can say that truthfully, i think most people hypocrits at heart.
what would it be like to win the lottery? and not a small lottery, but the huge one! what would it be like to win the super7 after no one has won for a few weeks and it gets up to like 40 million? that would be epic. to be able to afford whatever you wanted, for yourself, and for everyone you knew. to be able to wake up and say "i think i would like to have italian for lunch", and then flying to italy for lunch. to be able to hired all of the cutest pool boys to work in your pool, which is pretty much the size of lake superior. to just be able to have everything you have ever wanted. i could afford a squillion gone with the wind dresses if i won the lottery. and i would probably get another buick, too.
i like to sit and daydream about things, once, just once, id like one of the really nice ones to come true.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Danger, Danger! High Voltage! When We Touch, When We Kiss
so i heard back on friday from the park, and it turns out that i will a ministry of natural resources employee for another season, but really no surprise there. im glad to be going back to murphys point provincial park for the summer. its fun, i love it there. after hearing back, it gave me an odd sense of nostalgia and longing for my park, and good old staffhoe. so i want to give you, dear readers, a story from last summer. although it didnt happen to me, or anyone i know, and it didnt happen at the park, even.
this story is a murph story, as told by josh brown. (then again, told by me, right now)
nb- josh was a warden last year, lived with me at staff. was the best teller of stories ever, and the best smoker of captian blacks.
and so the story begins...
dave murphy was a sleaze. like a legit sleaze. if you went out one night, and came home in the morning feeling really down, and sleazy, like the kind of mornings when a 20 minute shower and 3 cups of coffee just isnt good enough, you could be sure dave murphy could make you feel better. you could call dave murphy up and say "murph, i just did ____________" (fill in the blank with- ass raped three puppies, had sex with my buddy's mom, went to bed with three asain dudes, etc.) and you can count on murph to reply with "YOU DONT EVEN KNOW SLEAZE!", and continue on to tell you the story of his night, and always, always making you feel better about yourself.
so one night, dave murphy was at bar, as he usually is, because that is what sleazes that murph do. and murph wanted to get some action this night, so he starts swinging, and missing. none of the girls wanted anything to do with murph tonight. it get late, and murph realizes that if he is going to get any tonight, he is gonna have to set his sights low. he looks around, and then he sees her. the girl he is going to take home. he knows its her, becuase she is about, oh, three times him size, and wearing clothes that would not even fit him, and she is dancing, and sweating, and getting pretty nasty. but murph is up to the challenge.
he goes up to this girl and introduces himself, "hi!, im ephirum williams." as he says, it was clear that he had to give her a fake name, i still cant see how that is clear, but it is, and he gives her his usual fake name. also, no idea why he has a usual fake name. so this girl falls for his ridiculous attempts at being charming, and leaves the bar with him. as they are leaving, murph feels the need for a cigarette, and asks to bum one off a guy standing at the door having a smoke. he gives him one, and they start talking, and murph says "by the way, names dave" to which is lady friend says "i thought your name was ephirum?!?" so being the good new friend that the cigarette guy was, he says "yah, yah, thats what he said!" this somehow, make the girl happy and her and murph continue on their way back to her apartment.
once they get there, murph and the girl start messing around on the couch in the living room, and just when things were getting hot, the girl reaches down to between murphs legs, and stops. "oh, im used to black guys, but i really like your hat", she says (it was a kingston k-rock hat) "if you let me have it, you can fuck my roommate." well now, how could murph turn down an offer like that, he agrees, and is giving directions to the roommates bedroom. he gets there and explains the situation to the girl, who was actually much better looking than the origanal girl, she was a pretty black girl. she somehow agrees to the fuck that the girl promise in exchange for the k-rock hat.
so they start at it, and murph begins to fumble with the condom, and thinks, "meh, she thinks im ephirum, fuck it" and he throws the condom on the floor when she is not looking, and rubs one out in her. he lays there for a bit like gentleman, then says he has to go to he bathroom. he puts on his jeans, and balls his tshirt up real tight in his hand, so the girl in the bed doesnt see him leave with it. he then goes back to the living room, where he trips over the first girl, and SURPRISE! a black guy doing it on the floor. he looks around for his hat. yes, the hat he traded for sex, finds it, and bolts out the door onto the street. at some point on his way down the stair, the roommate had stood up and realized that murph had not used the condom he said he did, and was not still in the bathroom. so now murph can hear two girls, and a giant black guy running after him, so he, logically, hides behind a bus stop. and they keep looking for him, and calling for ephirum williams, and murph hid behind that bus stop for 45 minutes, thinking "wow, im really glad i have my kingston k-rock hat"
this story is a murph story, as told by josh brown. (then again, told by me, right now)
nb- josh was a warden last year, lived with me at staff. was the best teller of stories ever, and the best smoker of captian blacks.
and so the story begins...
dave murphy was a sleaze. like a legit sleaze. if you went out one night, and came home in the morning feeling really down, and sleazy, like the kind of mornings when a 20 minute shower and 3 cups of coffee just isnt good enough, you could be sure dave murphy could make you feel better. you could call dave murphy up and say "murph, i just did ____________" (fill in the blank with- ass raped three puppies, had sex with my buddy's mom, went to bed with three asain dudes, etc.) and you can count on murph to reply with "YOU DONT EVEN KNOW SLEAZE!", and continue on to tell you the story of his night, and always, always making you feel better about yourself.
so one night, dave murphy was at bar, as he usually is, because that is what sleazes that murph do. and murph wanted to get some action this night, so he starts swinging, and missing. none of the girls wanted anything to do with murph tonight. it get late, and murph realizes that if he is going to get any tonight, he is gonna have to set his sights low. he looks around, and then he sees her. the girl he is going to take home. he knows its her, becuase she is about, oh, three times him size, and wearing clothes that would not even fit him, and she is dancing, and sweating, and getting pretty nasty. but murph is up to the challenge.
he goes up to this girl and introduces himself, "hi!, im ephirum williams." as he says, it was clear that he had to give her a fake name, i still cant see how that is clear, but it is, and he gives her his usual fake name. also, no idea why he has a usual fake name. so this girl falls for his ridiculous attempts at being charming, and leaves the bar with him. as they are leaving, murph feels the need for a cigarette, and asks to bum one off a guy standing at the door having a smoke. he gives him one, and they start talking, and murph says "by the way, names dave" to which is lady friend says "i thought your name was ephirum?!?" so being the good new friend that the cigarette guy was, he says "yah, yah, thats what he said!" this somehow, make the girl happy and her and murph continue on their way back to her apartment.
once they get there, murph and the girl start messing around on the couch in the living room, and just when things were getting hot, the girl reaches down to between murphs legs, and stops. "oh, im used to black guys, but i really like your hat", she says (it was a kingston k-rock hat) "if you let me have it, you can fuck my roommate." well now, how could murph turn down an offer like that, he agrees, and is giving directions to the roommates bedroom. he gets there and explains the situation to the girl, who was actually much better looking than the origanal girl, she was a pretty black girl. she somehow agrees to the fuck that the girl promise in exchange for the k-rock hat.
so they start at it, and murph begins to fumble with the condom, and thinks, "meh, she thinks im ephirum, fuck it" and he throws the condom on the floor when she is not looking, and rubs one out in her. he lays there for a bit like gentleman, then says he has to go to he bathroom. he puts on his jeans, and balls his tshirt up real tight in his hand, so the girl in the bed doesnt see him leave with it. he then goes back to the living room, where he trips over the first girl, and SURPRISE! a black guy doing it on the floor. he looks around for his hat. yes, the hat he traded for sex, finds it, and bolts out the door onto the street. at some point on his way down the stair, the roommate had stood up and realized that murph had not used the condom he said he did, and was not still in the bathroom. so now murph can hear two girls, and a giant black guy running after him, so he, logically, hides behind a bus stop. and they keep looking for him, and calling for ephirum williams, and murph hid behind that bus stop for 45 minutes, thinking "wow, im really glad i have my kingston k-rock hat"
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Its Not Easy Having A Good Time, Even Smiling Makes My Face Ache
blahh..
i dont wanna blog, i just want to watch dr who. but i honestly think i am going crazy, so i have forced myself to stop watching dr who. but i miss the doctor, and rose, and i really miss jack and i want him to come back. like really bad.
dear jack, if you are out there, please come back to us, to me.
- watching dr who, my newest obsession. but i mean, come on, aliens are so cool
- i have listened to all of bo's songs, until i knew all the words ex. so lets rob and asian kitchen, or stroll down the block, either way, were taking a wok. you're gonna love me like my uncle did, but youre not gonna go to court for doing it. be it guillotine, or my girl instead, either way, you're giving me head... i can keep going, test me if you feel the need
- i used flair like it was my job for like two months. flair is awesome, but i've seen them all now, so its not as fun.
- i repeat words and sayings. like legit bad. legit is an example of that, others are: sleaze, like its my job, deal, yeegods, syncopated whore, epic, cool beans, etc.
- i love jurassic park, that one didnt really pass. i still love it and watch it/read it. but it is different than my other obsessions, because you can only do it so much...
- Rocky Horror Picture Show. 'nough said.
- basically whenever i get a tv show on dvd, you wont see me for a week (if its a 1/2 hour show), or two (if its an hour). so this mean greys anatomy and how i met your mother.
- there are times when i knit compulsively. i always end up getting frustrated with the poor quality of my work, and getting rid of it just before completion.
that is actually just a short list of silly things i do. i do realize how lame it makes me seem, but what of it (another thing i say continually), i enjoy the things i do.
i dont wanna blog, i just want to watch dr who. but i honestly think i am going crazy, so i have forced myself to stop watching dr who. but i miss the doctor, and rose, and i really miss jack and i want him to come back. like really bad.
dear jack, if you are out there, please come back to us, to me.
- watching dr who, my newest obsession. but i mean, come on, aliens are so cool
- i have listened to all of bo's songs, until i knew all the words ex. so lets rob and asian kitchen, or stroll down the block, either way, were taking a wok. you're gonna love me like my uncle did, but youre not gonna go to court for doing it. be it guillotine, or my girl instead, either way, you're giving me head... i can keep going, test me if you feel the need
- i used flair like it was my job for like two months. flair is awesome, but i've seen them all now, so its not as fun.
- i repeat words and sayings. like legit bad. legit is an example of that, others are: sleaze, like its my job, deal, yeegods, syncopated whore, epic, cool beans, etc.
- i love jurassic park, that one didnt really pass. i still love it and watch it/read it. but it is different than my other obsessions, because you can only do it so much...
- Rocky Horror Picture Show. 'nough said.
- basically whenever i get a tv show on dvd, you wont see me for a week (if its a 1/2 hour show), or two (if its an hour). so this mean greys anatomy and how i met your mother.
- there are times when i knit compulsively. i always end up getting frustrated with the poor quality of my work, and getting rid of it just before completion.
that is actually just a short list of silly things i do. i do realize how lame it makes me seem, but what of it (another thing i say continually), i enjoy the things i do.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Nights I Can't Remember; Friends I'll Never Forget
so there is this girl i know, her name is kaitlyn wade.
she is normally a pretty fly chick, i mean, she likes hannah montana, so that is lame. she also has a huge obsession with high school musical. so that is also lame. but not really as lame as my friend who starred in his own version of high school musical. also lame.
so kaitlyn is super kind. and makes me laugh nearly 100% of the time. clearly, becuase i am writing this blog all about her. she normally makes me laugh by saying imtensional funny things. sometimes i laugh at her becuase she is being crazy. crazy in a good way though. most of the time. as one of her friends says "she is being delusional".
she frequently like to go overboard. but somehow it always seems to be exactly what is called for.
she writes a blog of her own. half the time you have no idea what she is talking about, but she wants it that way, and they always seem to make you smile.
she wears blue a lot. and she looks good in blue.
her mom is insane. she worries far too much, but still buys us boose. what a nice mom. my mom only does one of those things.
she once did a project on harry potter and the hobbit, she read neither of those books. at least not in the past four years. and then she made the class tie our feet together and walk/fall down the hallway.
she plays clarinet, and does way more scales than i do. she will probably get a way better mark than i will.
she has the weirdest taste is guys. i swear to god we have never agreed on someone we thought was cute/pretty/gorgeous... you know..
she is insane. literally
she is awful
love you kaitlyn
she is normally a pretty fly chick, i mean, she likes hannah montana, so that is lame. she also has a huge obsession with high school musical. so that is also lame. but not really as lame as my friend who starred in his own version of high school musical. also lame.
so kaitlyn is super kind. and makes me laugh nearly 100% of the time. clearly, becuase i am writing this blog all about her. she normally makes me laugh by saying imtensional funny things. sometimes i laugh at her becuase she is being crazy. crazy in a good way though. most of the time. as one of her friends says "she is being delusional".
she frequently like to go overboard. but somehow it always seems to be exactly what is called for.
she writes a blog of her own. half the time you have no idea what she is talking about, but she wants it that way, and they always seem to make you smile.
she wears blue a lot. and she looks good in blue.
her mom is insane. she worries far too much, but still buys us boose. what a nice mom. my mom only does one of those things.
she once did a project on harry potter and the hobbit, she read neither of those books. at least not in the past four years. and then she made the class tie our feet together and walk/fall down the hallway.
she plays clarinet, and does way more scales than i do. she will probably get a way better mark than i will.
she has the weirdest taste is guys. i swear to god we have never agreed on someone we thought was cute/pretty/gorgeous... you know..
she is insane. literally
she is awful
love you kaitlyn
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give A Damn
so lately ive been wondering to myself, "what the fuck is going on with that crazy other gender?" like i honestly just do not even understand a teeny wee bit.
and yes, i am complaining.
a very dear friend of mine said to me a short while ago that she was (and i quote) "going through a boy drought." at first her comment made me laugh, because it made boys sound like water, which, come on, admit it, is funny. but then i began to think about it, and boy DO come in spurts, which are always followed by droughts.
perhaps the spurts are what create the drought, because when handled improperly, can cause some sticky situations. for example, when in the time period that has ample love interests in, a girl can be unsure of how she wants to handle it. perhaps she knows that one of those boys who have expressed an interest in her is the one she is going to go for. but what if she doesnt? what if the girl like numerous boys? this creates the problems. one can say that a girl in this situation wants to play the field, which is always the way to go. ALWAYS. she should have fun, see who is the most fun... *winkwink. the problem is, of course, when others hear of this playing the field, which they nearly always do. a girl can be sure things will soon be coming to a halt when this happens. there is also always the possibility of the girl not finding any of the suitors to be fun. this blows.
and now come the drought. droughts suck, droughts have no boys, they have no fun. droughts make girl feel bad about themselves, and question everything they thought they knew. during droughts you can be sure to see an increase in chocolate consumption, and a decrease in self-esteem. droughts often last much longer than the spurts. it can actually be successfully compared to weather patterns in australia.
so my question is, why cant there be just one boy to end the drought? just one boy to make me happy? just one boy top come and sweep me off my feet? well i dont know the answer to that, but... i might just go have some fun.
and yes, i am complaining.
a very dear friend of mine said to me a short while ago that she was (and i quote) "going through a boy drought." at first her comment made me laugh, because it made boys sound like water, which, come on, admit it, is funny. but then i began to think about it, and boy DO come in spurts, which are always followed by droughts.
perhaps the spurts are what create the drought, because when handled improperly, can cause some sticky situations. for example, when in the time period that has ample love interests in, a girl can be unsure of how she wants to handle it. perhaps she knows that one of those boys who have expressed an interest in her is the one she is going to go for. but what if she doesnt? what if the girl like numerous boys? this creates the problems. one can say that a girl in this situation wants to play the field, which is always the way to go. ALWAYS. she should have fun, see who is the most fun... *winkwink. the problem is, of course, when others hear of this playing the field, which they nearly always do. a girl can be sure things will soon be coming to a halt when this happens. there is also always the possibility of the girl not finding any of the suitors to be fun. this blows.
and now come the drought. droughts suck, droughts have no boys, they have no fun. droughts make girl feel bad about themselves, and question everything they thought they knew. during droughts you can be sure to see an increase in chocolate consumption, and a decrease in self-esteem. droughts often last much longer than the spurts. it can actually be successfully compared to weather patterns in australia.
so my question is, why cant there be just one boy to end the drought? just one boy to make me happy? just one boy top come and sweep me off my feet? well i dont know the answer to that, but... i might just go have some fun.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
You Want The Truth? You Can't Handle The Truth!
so, today was my court date. yes, court date.
now dont be crazy, im not a murderer, or a rapist (well, i just havent been caught for my rapings, teehee) but i am however, guilty of selling cigarettes to minors. now, it was not even on purpose or anything. but it has ended up being one the most annoying disgusting dealios ever.
ill tell you the story.
one day, i went to work. just a normal day at work, at bens gasbar. twas a good job. i didnt hate it, and i got to work with kaitlyn (like my bff). so one day some girl comes in and byes some prime times, and i sold them to her, and i didnt ID her, because i thought she was old enough.
anyways a few minutes later, two old french losers came in and told me what i did, and gave me a fine($365!!!), made me cry in front of all the people in the store, etc etc. anyways, then i called my boss, and told him what had happened.
my honesty was recieved by "HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK, LEIGH? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" and then him hanging up on me. this didnt help with the whole crying thing, i mean, clearly it made matters worse. kaitlyn was being a nice bff, and trying to make me feel better and whatnot, when the phone rang, she answered it becuase i couldnt really talk at the moment ( i dont take things that fines and swearing and whatnot very well). anyways. she got of the phone, and said "that was Ben, he said you could go home"
yes, that is right, i was fired by my bestie. like wtf?!?! who does that? BEN! thats who makes besties fire eachother.
so today, 7 months later, was my trial to dispute the fine. i was at the courthouse for like 8 hours, 2 of which i had to spend with ben, whom i hadnt spoken to since the phone swearing. it was fun...
actually, my lawyer, bob carew is a pretty cool guy. he makes me sounds really good in court, talking about due diligence, and how i had done everything i thought nessecary. etc etc
so, anyways, stupid bitch crown lawyer girl is a bitch, and she made me wanna cry again.. so i hate her. but i didnt cry.
and then, after my eight hours in court, the justice told us we would have to come back for teh verdict, and gave me a date of aug 18.
ughh
hate it
now dont be crazy, im not a murderer, or a rapist (well, i just havent been caught for my rapings, teehee) but i am however, guilty of selling cigarettes to minors. now, it was not even on purpose or anything. but it has ended up being one the most annoying disgusting dealios ever.
ill tell you the story.
one day, i went to work. just a normal day at work, at bens gasbar. twas a good job. i didnt hate it, and i got to work with kaitlyn (like my bff). so one day some girl comes in and byes some prime times, and i sold them to her, and i didnt ID her, because i thought she was old enough.
anyways a few minutes later, two old french losers came in and told me what i did, and gave me a fine($365!!!), made me cry in front of all the people in the store, etc etc. anyways, then i called my boss, and told him what had happened.
my honesty was recieved by "HOLY FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK, LEIGH? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" and then him hanging up on me. this didnt help with the whole crying thing, i mean, clearly it made matters worse. kaitlyn was being a nice bff, and trying to make me feel better and whatnot, when the phone rang, she answered it becuase i couldnt really talk at the moment ( i dont take things that fines and swearing and whatnot very well). anyways. she got of the phone, and said "that was Ben, he said you could go home"
yes, that is right, i was fired by my bestie. like wtf?!?! who does that? BEN! thats who makes besties fire eachother.
so today, 7 months later, was my trial to dispute the fine. i was at the courthouse for like 8 hours, 2 of which i had to spend with ben, whom i hadnt spoken to since the phone swearing. it was fun...
actually, my lawyer, bob carew is a pretty cool guy. he makes me sounds really good in court, talking about due diligence, and how i had done everything i thought nessecary. etc etc
so, anyways, stupid bitch crown lawyer girl is a bitch, and she made me wanna cry again.. so i hate her. but i didnt cry.
and then, after my eight hours in court, the justice told us we would have to come back for teh verdict, and gave me a date of aug 18.
ughh
hate it
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Well Now, Ain't That A Kick In The Head
so i have some big news.
like the biggest of big news.
like uber gigantic news!
so here it is... I AM OFFICIALLY A UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA STUDENT.
ok, so maybe that is not the most big news. i mean, i am sure others have had larger news. but it is pretty big news for me.
after finally making the decision to go to ottawa U, i went onto ouac to accept the offer. i must say, it was a very stressful few minutes. and yes, it was only a few minutes, ouac is a good website. even now, im worried.
after months of thinking i would be attending trent this fall, switching my decision to ottawa has been a pretty big deal.
there are many of reasons why i did this. like my parents. dad was so happy last night he was giddy, twas odd. cause he is never giddy.
another reason is all mes amigos. like JD, and JF. they are staying in ottawa, and holly is coming home!!! it would practically be a sin for her to return and me to run off to peterborough.
so im excited now. i am super excited for next year. to finally be done with highschool
its rather terrifying. but i think it will be good. quite good.
so history class, here i come!
like the biggest of big news.
like uber gigantic news!
so here it is... I AM OFFICIALLY A UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA STUDENT.
ok, so maybe that is not the most big news. i mean, i am sure others have had larger news. but it is pretty big news for me.
after finally making the decision to go to ottawa U, i went onto ouac to accept the offer. i must say, it was a very stressful few minutes. and yes, it was only a few minutes, ouac is a good website. even now, im worried.
after months of thinking i would be attending trent this fall, switching my decision to ottawa has been a pretty big deal.
there are many of reasons why i did this. like my parents. dad was so happy last night he was giddy, twas odd. cause he is never giddy.
another reason is all mes amigos. like JD, and JF. they are staying in ottawa, and holly is coming home!!! it would practically be a sin for her to return and me to run off to peterborough.
so im excited now. i am super excited for next year. to finally be done with highschool
its rather terrifying. but i think it will be good. quite good.
so history class, here i come!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
My First Blog
yay!
my very first blog!
this is exciting...
i dont even really know what to write about
i feel like an entertaining story about my day, or a funny anecdote; unfortunately, i dont really have any at the moment.
well, i could come up with one off the top of my head. let me see... pondering, pondering... I GOT IT!
so once upon there was a very wholesome girl. she was a smart girl, she liked shoes, the colour red, and holding hands. for the benefit of this story, we will call this wholesome girl, jane. one day, jane went with some of her less wholesome friends to a party. jane had never been to a party, so this was her first time experiencing many of the tempations that highschool parties have to offer a youg girl. she saw many things that she had never seen. she saw boys kissing girls, and girls kissing girls (eww gross). she came across a new drink, and this drink was called tequila. now as much as she would never want to admit it, this tequila had a strange effect on her, or rather, an expected effect.
from across the party, she locked eyes with a boy. now this boy was not wholesome like she was, he was, in fact, a sleaze; but he was a sleaze who had some serious skill. it didnt take long for this boy to woe the young girl. jane was pleased that a boy had taken such interest in her, and she fell for his charm. after only being together for a few hours, the pair found themselves out in the front yard, under a canopy or a romantic willow tree. as they usual do while under the influence of tequila, one thing led to another, and soon the clothes of both the boy and jane found their way to the grass.
the host of the this party, was a cool child, his name was hugh the host. now hugh had noticed the two love birds had disappeared. he decided to go and look for them, and he found them hidden under their tree. instead of being a kind person and walking away, hugh had a better idea; really it was the best idea of all eternity. hugh grabbed the panties and trousers of jane, and ran off with them like a fox into the night.
jane was extremely sad about the loss of her pants, and she was extremely embarassed by having to sit naked while hugh refused to return her pants to her. but eventually they were returned, and all was correct again.
to jane, the story is an unhappy one.
but for everyone else. IT IS HILLARIOUS!
my very first blog!
this is exciting...
i dont even really know what to write about
i feel like an entertaining story about my day, or a funny anecdote; unfortunately, i dont really have any at the moment.
well, i could come up with one off the top of my head. let me see... pondering, pondering... I GOT IT!
so once upon there was a very wholesome girl. she was a smart girl, she liked shoes, the colour red, and holding hands. for the benefit of this story, we will call this wholesome girl, jane. one day, jane went with some of her less wholesome friends to a party. jane had never been to a party, so this was her first time experiencing many of the tempations that highschool parties have to offer a youg girl. she saw many things that she had never seen. she saw boys kissing girls, and girls kissing girls (eww gross). she came across a new drink, and this drink was called tequila. now as much as she would never want to admit it, this tequila had a strange effect on her, or rather, an expected effect.
from across the party, she locked eyes with a boy. now this boy was not wholesome like she was, he was, in fact, a sleaze; but he was a sleaze who had some serious skill. it didnt take long for this boy to woe the young girl. jane was pleased that a boy had taken such interest in her, and she fell for his charm. after only being together for a few hours, the pair found themselves out in the front yard, under a canopy or a romantic willow tree. as they usual do while under the influence of tequila, one thing led to another, and soon the clothes of both the boy and jane found their way to the grass.
the host of the this party, was a cool child, his name was hugh the host. now hugh had noticed the two love birds had disappeared. he decided to go and look for them, and he found them hidden under their tree. instead of being a kind person and walking away, hugh had a better idea; really it was the best idea of all eternity. hugh grabbed the panties and trousers of jane, and ran off with them like a fox into the night.
jane was extremely sad about the loss of her pants, and she was extremely embarassed by having to sit naked while hugh refused to return her pants to her. but eventually they were returned, and all was correct again.
to jane, the story is an unhappy one.
but for everyone else. IT IS HILLARIOUS!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
